Sunday, May 17, 2009

hiatus-ness

Lately I have been getting on my own nerves. There was a dis-connect that I could not put my finger on. I was filling all my time with reading. I read some real wonderful books, some about fairies, others about magic and wizards, a couple about sexy vampires. I watched a lot of movies too, or watched a show or two on the TV. I couldn't figure out what the problem was, why I was so busy filling myself with other peoples words and images.

Now don't get me wrong, there ain't nothin' wrong with the above forms of entertainment. But I realized I was doing it much more than usual. I have avoided my computer like the plague, hadn't twittered for weeks, no new blog posts. And I didn't feel like meditating.

Meditation has been a major part of my life for many, many years. So to not feel like meditating was strange. And then I realized what the issue was. Meditating, or rather, not meditating, had taken me away from myself. I was filling myself with the words, voices and images of others, so that I could continue to ignore the inner part of me that was calling for attention.

It is all in order, of course, it is a re-calibration of sorts. The energies here on earth and in the universe are changing, and evolving. So, doing things the way I did before was no longer resonating with me. I needed the time that was devoted to entertaining my mind to inspire me creatively. The images from movies and magazines have sparked a new medium for me, and I am making cool new art again. The reading has givin' me new direction for my next book.

And my daily, morning, meditations have refreshed my life throughout. Though sometimes I can only get a few minutes in, the power of meditation if profound.