Saturday, February 7, 2009

dissovling the i

Realizing now, with a palatable presence in my own me, that the other feeling-ness is the release. I get cranky when I feel out of connection with my I, mad that I am not more conscious, not more aware, that I still feel heavy and disconnected, and shouldn't I, by now, be thru this part? Shouldn't I be more mindful and peaceful and productive, more abundant? Less heavy with both mentation and physical weight?

But it is this that is the release. It is this grumpy, saltyness at myself, my experience, that I am to be grateful for, it is this process of feeling the funk that allows for the release of the junk in the trunk.

I can chose to be irritated or instead be gentle with my I, nurturing instead of silently judging my barely perceptible progress. Drop my consciousness into my heart, and let go of what I am so sure that I know.

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