I have been avoiding the deeper parts of myself. Strange, as I would normally run wildly towards them. Lately, manifesting my art had become the most important thing to me. And of course, that too is spiritual, losing yourself in the act of creation.
In the last few days,as I have reflected upon my patterns, I realized that it had been many a day, many a week, many a month(?) since I had meditated. And I was feeling the funk, the static, the sludge. Finally fed up and pissed off, I sat my teary emotionally drained self down, searching for a moment of inner silence.
The effect was immediately profound. Churning rivers ran from my eyes, from a place I could not reach. "What is all this about? Where is it coming from. Why am I hurting? I have come to a place in my life where things are pretty solid, there is no drama. I dug around a little deeper, and there met a wisp of some old forgotten shame sprinkled with guilt. It was attached to no particular action, no particular memory. Just a shadow of something long ago repressed and put away. These feelings were waiting patiently in the recesses of my being for expression, so that they too might be free. They wanted only to be acknowledged as valid experiences, to be appreciated for their contribution to who I have become.
I then began this powerful ritual, it came to me then, I share it with you now:
Imagine that you are sitting in the center of a giant lotus,(mine was pink, for love)
The root of the lotus reaches into the Earth.
The pink (or color that you choose) energy begins to enter your toes, filling every cell, every particle of every cell. Slowly it fills your feet, ankles, legs. Imagine every organ, blood vessel,bone filled with this delicious energy. All the while say to yourself "Every particle within this body is filled with love." Of course it could be compassion, or generosity, whatever the attribute.
When your whole body is full of this liquid light, imagine radiating it outward, endlessly flowing into the Universe, illuminating All That Is.
Blessings on your inner journey.